Boost Your Confidence in the New Year

There are a lot of misconceptions about confidence. Many times when confidence is brought up people will reply with the fact that they are an “introvert” so they aren’t confident, or they just overall feel not good enough and in their mind think there’s nothing they are confident in. Those are some of the misconceptions about confidence. Let’s talk about what confidence is, the myths and truths. Understanding confidence will help you boost your confidence in the New Year!

What is Confidence?

Confidence is defined as:

the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
the state of feeling certain about the truth of something
a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

Often, we think of confidence as a personality trait of someone who is the first to jump into a situation or who likes to be the center of attention. This really isn’t the case. There are exceptions and people who seem to be confident in everything they do- however for the majority of people that idea is false.

Confidence MYTHS

Confidence is a personality trait
Confidence is fixed- once you have it you don’t lose it
Confidence is omnipresent. When you are confident it is in all areas of your life

Confidence TRUTHS

Confidence is a SKILL not a trait
Confidence is active
Confidence is situational

Confidence is not actually a personality trait. It’s a skill. You can teach yourself to be confident in what you are doing. It’s about your ability and you can sharpen those skills to gain confidence.

Confidence is not fixed. It is active. When you are actively doing something you gain confidence in it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll always have confidence in it. Growing up I was confident in my ability to do cartwheels. Now, not so much…at the same time, that can change.

Confidence is not omnipresent. When you’re confident doesn’t mean you are in all areas of your life. Confidence is situational. Gordon Ramsey is a very confident cook. If you were to put him in another situation such as an opera singer, I have a feeling he wouldn’t be so confident.

Confidence and Introvert vs Extrovert Personality Types

Being an introvert or an extrovert personality type does not have anything to do with your confidence. This is a big misconception that a lot of people have. Extrovert and Introvert are in reference to what drains you and what energizes you.

Bill Gates who is one of the most successful businessmen on the planet is by nature, an introvert. This by no means affects his self-confidence. He is confident in his abilities and knowledge which is in part, how he has accomplished his goals.

By the same token, just because you’re comfortable talking in front of people and being the center of attention doesn’t mean that you are confident in all areas of your life. There are people more confident with group conversations that 1-on-1. Carrie Underwood appears on stage and puts on an excellent show, but backstage she’s quiet. It’s about knowing your abilities not your personality type.

Mel Robbins has a fantastic class available on Creative Live, “How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence.” It is one of the best classes I’ve taken and I highly recommend it. Also, if you download the app you can get a free lesson per day.

In the class, Mel explains the confidence loop and how it works-

The Confidence Loop

When you try, you will either succeed or survive. Whether you succeed or you survive it, you learn something. When you learn something you are able to then build a skill on it.

Is there something you want to gain confidence in?

[the_ad_placement id=”google-ad-1″]

Competency Loop

As you learn something and build that skill you gain competency. Then, as you become more competent in you skill, you gain confidence in your ability to do it.

This is a continual loop of confidence and how you build it. It’s a process and the great thing is, it’s not a secret process. It’s about building your skills and gaining competency in what you do. Sometimes, it will take more than once. You may survive the first couple times, but you don’t give up- you figure out what you learned in the process and what skill you need to improve upon.